EGO

I dont watch the simpsons but like this pic!

here's some thoughts on the Ego,,, have a good weekend!

The human EGO (see Freud) has a huge influence on people's behavior, what does that mean? most people you will encounter go through life always trying to PROTECT, and NURISH their ego because it makes them feel OKAY and like they are important in society. Understanding this makes understanding different social dynamics much easier.

EX:
Person A and Person B are friends who work together and both smoke. They have been trying to quit for a year.
Person A is finally successful and quits smoking, Person A is very excited and tells Person B (who is still smoking) the great news.
"wow this is amazing, i never thought I could do this, it feels amazing to finally have kicked this habit, i feel healthier, I feel alive, i have started to go to the gym, my life is great!!!! wooooooo!"

How does Person B feel?

In most circumstances, In this situation Person B will think like the following:
We were equal we both had the same problem, and now my friend overcame smoking and I didn't this means they are better than me, I feel my ego getting attacked, they are stronger than me. Just imagine how person B would feel when they are at work and he has to go out for a smoke break which he always enjoyed with person A and person A isn't there anymore...

person B UNCONSCIOUSLY to protect his ego will usually deal with the above in one of two ways:

1) do whatever it takes to get on the same level as person A, meaning he will quit smoking himself, he will start going to the gym, he will do whatever.

2) (this is more common) Person B will try and get person A to come back down to person B's level so they can again be on the same level and then person B will no longer feel bad for continuing to smoke and most importantly his EGO will not be suffering. This will be attempted again mostly unconsciously, by person B saying things like, "oh come on, its just one smoke", "come on person A why dont you come out just like old times its not going to kill you"!!

fast forward a few weeks (assuming person B has not Quit smoking himself)
Person A will have either 1. continued to not smoke or 2. be persuaded to come back down to the level they were originally at and likely started smoking again.

"You will learn one thing from my class, remember this only: PEOPLE LIVE IN GROUPS"
-first day of class said by Dr. Michael Overington (former soiology professor at SMU)

If person A continues NOT to smoke, and Person B continues to smoke in most cases, person A will find a new social group with similar values and start spending more time with them, and person B will keep hanging out with current social group. Because both people are around others like themselves EGOS will feel okay.

This is why sometimes friends "drift" apart.... this is why some people quit smoking, or quit drinking only to start back up again, And this is why sometimes people will try and bring you down.
Its human nature. don't fight it, understand it, then expect it. and then RISE above it.

MEL