NO LIMITS

The only limits in life are the ones that YOU create for yourself....

MEL

Who are you?

Instead of just writing out your name, stop now and make a list of alllllll the things you are.
Do it now, write down everything the good and the bad:

student...
professional...
optimistic..
boyfriend..
brother...
smoker...
fast reader...
bad tempered...
depressed...
hockey player...
pretty...
healthy...

I dunno, its different for everybody that's why you have to write it down!
ok... are you finished?
if not, go write down what you are right now. be as detailed as you can be. List ALL the things you can think of that make you who you are.

alright, cool.
This is who you are! you should be really happy, these are all the characteristics that make you unique.
Glorytimes.

Now of these characteristics what are some of the ones you would like to change?

Be honest with yourself... are you a smoker and would like to quit? are you fat and want to lose some weight? are you getting shitty grades and want to do better? do you have serious anger problems and want to be more chill?

I'm sure whatever it is about yourself you would like to change you have already tried in some way or another to change it in the past, right?
Maybe you quit smoking for 3 weeks?
Maybe you signed up at the gym for a couple months?

Whatever you did, if it's still an issue TODAY the change DIDN'T LAST.
and if that's the case, we have a serious problem.
who wants to make a change that doesn't last???? that's almost like a tease...

Forget about the past, these are the G L O R Y TIMES.
And today we are going to look at how to shatter those old habits and make a change that is going to LAST.

heeeeer we go.

First we have to understand CONGRUENCE
dictionary.com says: Agreement, harmony, conformity, or correspondence.

sounds good.

we have to understand congruence because:
We will always be congruent with what we think we are.

I first learned this concept a long time ago back when I was in a really depressed point of my life.. I remember I saw a councilor and told her my story...

I feel really shitty, I'm really depressed, I don't have any energy, I don't want to do anything, I don't care about my body and treat my body like shit, I smoke a lot, I do drugs and drink. The only thing that even makes me feel good is when I listen to Counting Crows.

Now if you don't know much about the counting crows, this is all you have to know; They are one of the most depressing bands EVER. The lead singer, Adam Duritz has major issues, and so naturally that is what he sings about, all his broken relationships, how he can't sleep at night, he's stays inside all day, he's so alone, etc. Watch this video, you'll see what I'm talking about.. the dude is not very happy you can just tell by looking at him.



I couldn't understand it I was feeling so depressed at the time so what was it about this music, about the counting crows that would make me so happy? why was I so addicted to it and listen to it all the time? for a while I thought i had some sort of disorder with music it made absolutely NO SENSE to me.

My councilor explained it to me and I have never forgotten the lesson.

"She said James you listen to the Counting Crows, and you identify with their music because it is sad and depressing which is very CONGRUENT with how you are feeling in your own life. So of course you would like it... Happy upbeat music isn't sad or depressing so it would be incongruent with how you are feeling and thinking."

That stuck with me.

These days I listen to music that is happy, upbeat, positive because that's how I'm feeling in my life. I don't listen to the counting crows because they bring me down.

This shows the power of congruence, and how it affects and attracts things in our life.

alriiiiiighty then,

The second thing we have to do in order to make a lasting change is realize the difference between a
Behavior Change vs. Identity Change

The difference is that a change in Behavior is short term. It isn't going to give us those LASTING CHANGES. It's kind of like a band-aid solution.

For example if you are addicted to smoking and you want to quit, you are still going to get those cravings, but to quit you just might modify your BEHAVIOR so for example you might not physically buy a pack of smokes, or go out on lunch break with all the smoking crew, or buy a patch or whatever this might last for a couple days or weeks or whatever but chances are you'll start back up again if all you change is the behavior.

Or if you want to lose weight you might go on a "diet" so that means of course behavior change so next time you are at a restaurant instead of ordering the New York Pepper Steak of desire, you'll order the elite garden salad. Again a change in behavior right?

As long as you have the discipline to maintain those behavior changes you will have some changes. That's awesome, but we want MASSIVE awesome changes of eternity. so a couple weeks or months isn't good enough.

To get these kinds of results we have to make an IDENTITY CHANGE.
WTF? what is this?
Forget about a band aid solution, go right to the bone baby.

An Identity change is when you change who you see yourself as, how you describe yourself, essentially this is how you change WHO YOU ARE.

What is this mean?
It means if you want to quit smoking no longer see yourself as a smoker.
If you want to be healthy start seeing yourself as a healthy person,
if you are an impulsive person no longer see yourself as impulsive.

Because as long as you hold onto that identity of who you think you are, YOU WILL BE IT.

Do you see now how this ties in with congruence?
Do you see how just changing a behavior would be like being depressed and playing some happy go lucky music... it might make you happy and get you excited while its on, but at the end of the day if that's not who you are, if that is not how you really BELIEVE you are with every fiber in your body you will go back to just being that sad, upset, helpless depressed person.

If you think and percieve yourself a certain way you will always be that way.

So the only way to really make a change, to change who you are and what you do is to go right down to you identiy and change who you are and how you think about yourself
it will change everything., and best of it it will LAST.

DISCLAIMER:
There are NO magic pills, making a lasting change is tough, you have to WANT to make a change and making a change requires hard work and discipline, it's not going to happen over night.

You have to start somewhere though and this article will provide you with a good foundation and the right direction:

To make this all happen you HAVE to take action.

So if you are serious about making a change in your life
Start changing your Identity RIGHT NOW
Go back to the list of things you wanted to change earlier and
Re-Write how you see yourself how you would describe yourself what you would believe about yourself assuming you have made every change you wanted and have been living it for a year.

EX: I am a very healthy person, I work out everyday, I watch what I put in my body
I'm a student I take my studies seriously, I put in the necessary time so I can get good grades

Review your list everyday, more than once if you can, Visualize it play videos in your mind of you doing these things, say it out loud,

Once you honestly BELIEVE you are that person who you WANT TO BE, it will all work out. everything will become congruent. You will become the person you want and vision.


believe it, and live it.

MEL

The Approach.

Was back in Newfoundland this past week (the best place ever) for a couple days helping my friends recruit for their company

We were at Memorial university just tapping shoulders trying to get people interested.

I want to post some of the videos we made to show how EASY it is to get people's attention. You can literally SAY or DO anything you want.

These videos were taken in a high traffic area with just random people as they walked by our booth.

I do ridiculously stupid stuff but notice how in EACH approach the person is fully engaged in what I am saying, and so I can get my message fully across....they don't get pissed off, keep walking or violent.

There are 5 different approaches,

1. The BOX IN APPROACH
This is where I literally come out of nowhere, cut the person off and face them dead on "boxing them in" so they are forced to talk to me instantly. I love this one.





2. The STAIR APPROACH
This is where I am waiting half way down a flight of stairs waiting for somebody to go down... as they walk down the stairs I simultaneously walk up the stairs headed right towards them, I intercept them on the path they were taking, take them out of the stairwell completely and lead them over to our booth. The one is a beauty because I literally take somebody completely off the path they were going and bring them alllllll the way over to our booth.





3. The DROP PAPER APPROACH
The goal of this approach was to drop all my papers and by doing so creating a scene and thereby getting the peoples attention




4. The POKE APPROACH
This one was probably the most risky out of all of them... I had this huge tube like object and literally whacked somebody with it as they were passing by... my goal was to not have to get up from where I was sitting.... pretty funny.




5. The KARATE APPROACH
For the karate approach I literally do a flying jump kick right in front of some people walking by.... They were in complete shock at the time and like WTF is going on?!?! anyway its a gem because I literally get ALL 3 of them to come over to our booth and fully engaged them in conversation.





Anyway the point of this post is that you can open a conversation with ANYTHING you want. If you want to meet somebody, a possible employee, potential girlfriend, a new friend, whatever you don't have to have this elaborate canned script....
Say or whatever you want to get their attention and then just be real.

Spring break everyday!

MEL

What if?

You knew you were going to die in a week?
or

You knew you were going to get in an accident and not have use of your legs again? you would never be able to work out the same in the gym again, you would not be able to stand front row at a concert and jump up and down, you would not be able to get up in the morning by yourself, if you spent your days in the doctors office rehabilitating
or

Your best friend was getting transfered across the world and you would not see them for another 5 years? and you couldn't hang out with them anymore, you couldn't play sports together anymore, you couldn't go shopping or traveling together anymore all the things you like doing together you can't do anymore?

or
You got hit in the eye and suddenly were blind? you couldn't see your lovers face ever again, your job as you know it would be totally different if you could even keep doing it, you would never see the ocean, the sun, the trees, your mom's face again you couldn't see pictures.

We live like these things will never happen....
and you don't know what it would be like until it does happens. So
Stop and feel one of these scenarios right now.

Close your eyes for a minute and go outside and walk around.
FEEL what it would be like to not have vision. Keep your eyes closed for 5 whole minutes.
I bet you can't.
ask yourself how it feels, what does it change? FEEL IT, experience it

how would you be living TODAY, what would today mean to you if you knew one of these would come true? how much more would you VALUE today, and what you can do, your friendships, your relationships, the things you do for fun?

WHAT IF
you lived with this much emphasis, excitement and gratitude everyday....?

would you smile a little more?
push a little harder in the gym?
try a few new things you have been putting off....


MEL

It's a Beautiful day...

So this morning I was at the airport with some buddies to catch a 7:30am flight.

We cut it really close, but we for sure had enough time to board and get on the plane...

Air Canada wouldn't let us though saying our flight was cut off and we missed it by a couple minutes or something.. they made no effort whatsoever to get us on. so naturally we were about to lose it on the effin AC representative....
but we didn't.

Since our tickets were the no changes, non refundable, non transferable type we weren't even allowed to catch the next flight..
Again we were about to lose it... but we didn't.

There was absolutely nothing we could do at this point we were livid.
We had to get out of the airport before we got kicked out, we just basically forfeited a couple hundred dollars each, plus our plans where messed.
fuck.

Has this ever happened to you?
maybe not this event specifically but maybe you lost something like your favorite pair of jeans you got on vacation in Europe last year, or your i pod touch with all your favorite songs on it , or you broke you watch, or a friend was an hour late picking you up so you missed a concert you were supposed to go to and it was all their falut so you were just fuming .. or somebody broke into your car and stole your stereo? whatever.

All these scenarios have one thing in common, don't they?
they absolutely SUCK!
They make you ANGRY,
they get you PISSED off for the rest of the day.
They put you in a BAD mood and screw up your face because you are so pissed off,
They cost you money.

STOP

What if I told you something RIGHT NOW that could totally change your life and give YOU complete control over these frustrating situations?

If I told you something that would allow YOU, and make YOU completely responsible for what kind of mood you were in after something unfortunate and crappy happens?

Something almost

TOO simple and TOO succinct.

Once you truly “get” this statement you will be instantly amazed at what happens in your life, especially when faced with one of life's obstacles

This is Something so simple you probably won't even give it much thought
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Life is only 10% what happens to you, the other 90% is how you react.

read it again,
let it digest,
say it out loud


MEL

What do you think?!

Doing something a little different this week, instead of typing I just recorded my entry!

So
Heeeeerrrrreeee's MEL:



I haven't listened to it, hopefully the audio turned out decent, I find it can be a little distorted sometimes in public places...

that's it for now,

MEL