Don't follow the leader... Become the leader!

I absolutely love penguins so I'm glad I could incorporate this picture into this weeks post!

Are you a LEADER or a FOLLOWER?

Can you remember back in elementary school playing on the playground? There was probably one kid who everybody wanted to be like, who set the fashion trends, who decided what toys were cool to play with, decided what movie to see on the weekends...
everybody wanted to be like them....they were the leader. Everybody else was the follower.

Most people become a follower by default.
Think about it.

Growing up you think everybody is looking at you, judging you, making fun of you. There are so many different influences to deal with, your parents telling you one thing, your friends wanting you to do something different, then you have the T.V the movies, the magazines and you want to be like them.. all this adds up to insecurities, lack of confidence and just confusion.

All you want to do is whatever it takes to be liked and just fit in. If you have to buy the new 200$ nike air shocks you'll beg your mom for them. if you need to get a Gucci purse you'll save up all your babysitting money and buy it, if shaving your head is the cool thing, sign me up. Most people would just do whatever it takes to be "cool" to be "liked" to be "accepted"

So this is how we grow up... This is how we are conditioned, if you aren't born with these natural leadership qualities and you don't know what is cool, or what is fun you will always look at the people who you think have it figured out and FOLLOW them.

I use to be the biggest follower EVER. If you knew me 5 years ago you would agree... I was small, insecure, un confident, unhealthy, whatever. I always turned to others to see what was cool. I didn't make my own decisions. I got into drinking and drugs because i thought it would make me cool. i'd do stupid stuff for attention if i thought people would like me for it... basically I had none of my own values so I just adopted other peoples.
ugh.

The point is whether they admit it or not this is the reality for most people at some point in their lives...
So how do most people deal with it?
How did YOU deal with it?
Did you hang out with a natural leader, somebody who has confidence and feed off that person's energy to boost your own state?
Did you turn to drinking or drugs to gain confidence,

get a boyfriend or girlfriend to fill the void of your insecurities, or sleep around to get validation that people liked you??

It doesn't have to be that way.

I'm sure by this stage of your life you have seen enough of the world and developed a strong enough identity and had some experiences with leadership to build on.
You realize that people aren't looking at you all day long like you thought they did back in Jr. High. they are too busy looking at themselves. Nobody really gives a shit what your haircut looks like or what clothes you are wearing. They are too busy worrying about themselves and their own 99million problems.

So what you can do is keep building on these experiences to strengthen your skills.

Developing leadership skills is in my opinion is one of the most important qualities to develop in life. Always being a leader will give you a greater sense of control in your life and who doesn't want control of their life??
You will no longer be Dependant on looking up to somebody else to make your decisions or follow.
You are the leader.
You make the decisions.
You are in control.
You are responsible.

I think perhaps the biggest way to make a difference in your ability to lead is just getting in the habit of always making quick CONFIDENT decisions. Do that and you will see a substantial difference. Make a decision which way to go..right or wrong and just roll with it. If somebody comes to you with a question have an answer or a plan.

Just look at any leader, they ALWAYS have to have an answer or a plan. That is why they are the leader. Bill Belichick, head coach of the New England patriots playing in the Super bowl this Sunday has exactly 40 seconds in between each play to make a decision of what play to run next. He doesn't have 5 minutes, he has 40 seconds max, the play is executed and then he must move on to the next decision. bang, bang, bang his team looks to him to make these decisions which is why he is the leader. If the quarterback, Tom Brady suddenly calls an unexpected time out and has a question of what to do Bill Belichick doesn't have time to think about it, he has to have an answer or a strategy/plan of how to deal with it RIGHT AWAY .

You can practice this in your own life to develop these traits. Next time you are in line at Subway instead of sitting there thinking about what to get for 5 minutes, pretend you are a coach just pick one and roll with it. Next time you are renting a movie at blockbuster pick one up and roll with it. If your girlfriend asks what the plan is for the weekend and you haven't really thought about it, consider it an unexpected time out and just come up with one.
Right or wrong,
LEAD, LEAD, LEAD
by making a decision and rolling with it.
simple stuff. try it.

Now when making decisions that are a little more important than what sub to eat or which movie to watch here's a secret I was taught

Have VALUES and GOALS.
Values that are so strong that you will not break them or compromise them for anything. And goals that are so important to you that you will achieve them no matter what.
Having these two thing in place and working together makes things very easy. Its like having your own personal compass. Its deluxe. Whenever you are faced with a decision just input it into your compass and whatever course of action will lead you towards your goals and what you value is the decision you make.
Easy right? cool.

have fun!!!

MEL

ps. later this week I will be doing something I meant to do at the beginning of the month and posting my video goals for 2008 - the year of destiny.